[lambeausam]

I think it is definitely a family decision. Ask each family member to write down characteristics that they feel would and would not work in your family i.e. sexually abused children, children with mental or physical disabilities. Do you plan to have one of your children share a room with a foster child? If so, what type of children are they willing to share with? For example, my seven year old son is willing to share his room with a boy that is between 4 and 8 years old. These types of questions will help you create a family profile.

As for the heartache for when they return home...it doesn't seem to matter if they stay for four days or four months, the feelings are the same. My two sons have been taught that as a foster family, our "job" is to make the children feel safe and loved while they stay with us. The boys understand that the foster children stay with us because their parents need some extra help taking care of them. This is especially helpful when the children return home. The boys understand that the parents have the support they need and are ready to take care of the children again. I realize this explanation may be oversimplistic for some families, but since my boys are seven and three, it works well for us.

As for caseworkers and other social staff, it's like any other business. Some are better than others. I have found that if you educate yourself on the agency's procedures and know what your rights are as foster parents, things go much easier. Also, if you become a strong advocate for the children in an educated and tactful manner, you will garner a great deal of respect. Even the so-called "bad" caseworkers will tend to get things done in a timely manner when they know you will be following up.

I hope this information helps. If you would like specifics regarding some of my experience as a foster parent, feel free to private message me.