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Hi, I'm a firstmom, but I thought I could offer a little insight from my own experience.
My son was definitely thinking about me and wanting to know me as a teenager and while in college. My son searched for and found me at 19 (at the prompting of his amom, who saw how he was struggling). I am conflicted about whether that was a good time FOR HIM to do that, and I wish he would have waited until he was ready. He had been really struggling and wondering about me, and I know I had been really wanting to find him. I think he needed to find me because he was really struggling to figure out who he was - and he needed to know his first family in order to do that. However, he wasn't strong enough and detached enough from the adoptive family yet to be able to make decisions that were about what HE NEEDED from reunion. Instead he bowed to pressure from friends and family regarding what they thought our reunion should be, and so our reunion went south for a few years. I have since found out that during that time he had a really difficult time, and I regret letting the afamily push me out of the picture. He needed me then and he needs me now. He is now 27 and his own man, so we DO have a relationship now on our own terms.
So, I agree that 18/19 is VERY young. Depending on the individual, reunion can be just what is needed, or it can be the right thing at the wrong time. I am sure that your daughter is definitely thinking about you. However, she isn't her own person yet, and she has a lot of pressures and distractions on her right now. I know that we all look forward to the magical age of 18, but I think 22 to 25 is a lot more realistic age. I will tell you that the LAST thing I wanted to hear is that I should wait a few more years for my son to grow up!!!!
Good luck and hugs,
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Isabo
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