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Personally, I'm one of the people who used to think that 'older children' were those who were at least 5 and up.
After we adopted a three year old, I changed my definition entirely.
After our experiences, we said we'd never adopt a child older than 12 months---and might go as high as 18months.
We thought that a child who'd just turned three(removed as a tiny infant and raised by a less-than-desireable foster couple)---was delayed as well, would easily work into our family and be 'formed' with a lot of 'us'. Sadly, this was not the case; and frankly, I was shocked to see just how much damage this boy had already absorbed....damage that wasn't turned around either.
Sincerely,
Linny
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