|
On my best days, I consider that I'm on a journey of discovery with D. As I have posted, the pain and sadness (grief really) of relinquishment have returned in a different way and so I continue that grief work. I also delight in an adult who wants me to be part of his life even with all the baggage we bring to the relationship. It eases my heart to see (and have) pictures of his growing up years. I'm still waiting for a promised picture of his as an infant in his parents' arms.
Unfortunately Keds, my doctor made sure I was unconscious when D was born so I couldn't see him - it would be best for me you know - therefore I didn't hear his first cry. Apparently none of the medcical staff, sw, etc, were able to comprehend that my decision was a carefully considered one, made because I cared deeply about him and what I believed was best for him,
|