[lucyjoy]

I've been in your position and it's not pleasant. I did keep the kiddos and one did eventually land in RTC's.

Since the therapist sees S as a real threat, he needs to send a report stating what her needs are. Does he see N as well? If so, he needs to make a written recommendation as to his thoughts on splitting or not splitting sibs. Therapists statements tend to go farther then foster parents.

In my case, it was the judge who refused to allow the twins to be split. If it is just the SW, it's not a done deal. Is there a casa worker or a GAL who could intervene on the children's behalf?

Keep a log of S's behaviors and your conversations with the SW and therapists and anyone else involved.

Do you live in an area with an adoption support group? I know we have a group here we can call when stupid stuff is going on. They know the laws and they can often point parents to whom they need to call to get things moving in the correct direction.

Sorry you are dealing with this. It's not a fair choice for anyone to have to make.