[Howdy]

I just joined the forum tonight and I'm so glad I found these posts. I am mailing back my 'autobiography' etc forms tomorrow and I've been waffling about the single/sibling group choice. I'm single and have no experience parenting so I thought I better put down just one, but I think a pair would be nice. I hadn't known about the bonding between siblings helping with attachment.
The same as another poster, I've put the age range as 4 to 8. I really liked a 9 yr old and a pre-teen I met at an adoption party (unfortunately from the 'wrong' county), so I don't know why I'm specifying 4 - 8. I signed up with the county foster-adopt option and for some unknown-to-me reason, the ages the orientation said they have are 0 to 6, so probably I'll only get a child(ren) in that age range no matter what I put down.
I have so many questions I don't know if I should post them separately. I guess I'll add them here.
How does a person decide what special needs they can handle? There is a huge checklist on the forms I filled out, and I checked a bunch as okay, but I really have no idea what would bother me and what wouldn't.
I kind of think a sexually abused girl would be relatively easy, except a book from the library said the adoptive parent should be comfortable talking about masturbation, and I have never talked about that to anyone and I don't think I could honestly say I'm comfortable talking about it! Do you guys think that is really necessary, would I become comfortable eventually?
Also, the library books have some scary stories, of kids killing the family pets and trying to poison their adoptive mom, actually killing the adoptive parents, trying to kill siblings, cutting the brake lines of the mom's car, etc. I for sure can't (and don't want) to handle that! Is there a way to recognize and avoid those kinds of kids right away (during the visitation period)?

And another question. I'm very attached to my cats, and in the foster classes the social worker said the kids are good at finding a person's "buttons" and pushing them. Does that mean the kids would see I like the cats and be motivated to harrass them?

Also (there is no end to my questions!), as a foster-to-adopt parent do I have the legal rights to allow the kids to ride my horses? It is a dangerous (but FUN) sport, and I don't know what would be the birthparent's and Child Services' reaction if the kid fell off and got hurt. Or bounced off the trampoline and got hurt, or fell out of the tree house, or flipped the go-cart over, etc. I don't want the kid (if I get one old enough to like active sports) to not be allowed to have good fun, but I don't want to get in trouble if they get hurt.
I'm afraid I'm going to be an overanxious parent and drive the kid crazy.
What if the kid is climbing too high in a tree and won't come down when I ask? I've read that control problems are common, and that the parent should only make control an issue when it involves the child's safety and when the parent can enforce what they say. I am way too fat and decrepit to climb up a tree after a kid.

Last question (for tonight) -- I'm a very shy person and awkward around kids I don't know. I don't know what to do once a kid is identified and we have visits to get to know each other. At the adoption party I went to I just hovered around and listened to the kids talk to other people (except for the pre-teen, I was comfortable chatting with her). What does a person talk about with a strange kid that might become their own child?