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Originally Posted by reiscmi
If I may ask, how would you have felt if you were the one who was found my your bmom? Why was it such a strong need for you to be the one who searched?
Was it the same reasons as me? that I wanted to have control over something when previously I had no control and I wanted to be the one to decide when and where if at all there would be a reunion. I personally don't think it is appropriate for a bmom to initiate a reunion.
I understand if you may not want to answer any of my questions.
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Well, I was not aware that it had to do with controling things, but learning more about abandonement issues has taught me that it is. In my heart, I was feeling like "you
LEFT me" and closed the door on me and
I will be the one to open that door back up,not you. Of course that sounds childish, but I read that we do react out of infantile emotions as adoptees.
I would have been resentful if she found me. Seems so odd,because I don't "think" that, but my adoptee heart certainly "feels" it..