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Gemini - I too can relate to your pain towards your birthmom. I don't speak to mine anymore either. I don't I ever want to see her again. When I think about it, i think it would just be too painful for me. I will never forgive her for wishing my aparents dead. I think at some level she wished I didn't have such a great relationship with them so that she could waltz back into my life and be my "mother". Not once did she say she was thankful to them for raising me and loving me. She even said "well every child feels loyal to their parents even when they are abusive". She is just too screwed up for me to handle. It was VERY hard for me when I realized how screwed up she to not take it personally. I was born from this crazy lady. Now I realize I am Michelle a unique individual and even though she did give birth to me I am NOT her. I find her to be selfish and insensitive to my feelings and aparents feelings.
I am sorry that you a struggling with anger "issues" also towards your birthmom. Hopefully, one day we can put our anger behind us and move on.
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