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When I was very young I would ask my amom or adad questions about their past, their families, their heritage. THen, as a way of bringing up the adoption issue, I would say "I wish I knew things like that about myself." That way they never felt threatened by my adoption questions, never had to take them personally. The subject was never taboo but I had a fear of hurting them, or putting them on the defensive, and bringing it up this way put it out there in a very understandable way. Eventually there would be times they'd look at me and wonder about things in my genetic make up. Questions about adoption were about curiousity as opposed to dissatisfaction with my life or thier inadequacies as parents. Still, it wasn't spoken of all that much.
I feel so sad for those of you who are living with an emptiness inside, or unresolved anger. I agree that counseling can be very helpful, or even just adoption support groups where you meet different members of the triad, hear their views, can express yours uncensored. It's worth a try if it might help.
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