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Could you just leave your contact info with her and tell her you're there if she changes her mind?
I totally understand how you could wind up with something different than you thought you wanted---we did. And I don't really agree that the difference in your outlook on this from the birthmom should necessarily preclude you from accepting the situation, as long as you're prepared for the possibility that she's NOT going to change her mind, and the potential fallout for the child if she doesn't.
I'm w/ Jenna---leave the door open, hope she decides to walk through at some point, and think about how you'll handle it if she doesn't.
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