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I am MOM to two biological sons who are now ages 16 and 13. When our youngest son was about age 5...we started talking about adoption. Not because we couldn't have more children on our own...but we felt that we had two children who would replace us biologically when we die...any other child in the home should be one who needs one. We thought we would have great luck in the United States because we weren't looking for a baby and would take any race. We didn't know that in PA we would meet with such racism from the Social Workers. We are caucasian and they would not place a child of color into our home. We heard every excuse there was. After three years...we decided to adopt internationally. The person who said not to mix biological and adopted children together into the same family needs to rethink that a bit. We adopted our daughter who was age 19 months old at the time our youngest bio son was 7. It was as if she had been born into this family. There is absolutely no difference in the bonding. If fact it worked so well...we adopted a second daughter two years later. She came home at age 18 months. Currently...we have guardianship of our third daughter (yes our fifth child) who will be coming home in about four weeks. She is currently 18 months old. As for special needs...please don't dismiss this part of adoption. Especially internationally....This could literally mean a birth mark which is very minimal to abnormal limbs...and anything and everything in between. You may be surprised how much you actually would consider in the field of special needs if you were offered it. All three of our daughters came home as toddlers not babies. It was wonderful not to deal with the little baby stage. I had already done that. They were all three considered special needs. Daughter #1...failure to thrive. Daughter #2...born with her right hip dislocated...repaired and now perfectly normal as well....Daughter #3...Atrial Septal Defect...Primary Pulmonary Hypertension of the Newborn...and Seizures. Her heart condition closed on its own...which didn't allow for any problems in her lungs...she had a total of 4 seizures when she was very young and was taken off seizure medication this week because she hasn't had one for nearly a year. She will be checked out here to be sure...but we now are getting another "special needs" toddler who will come home perfectly fine. If you are open to older child adoption/toddler adoption...check into India. The children are very well cared for. Another country is Korea. Again many waiting special needs babies and toddlers...very well cared for. When we first started our adoption adventure...we were looking at race being considered the only special need we would consider. Here we are 5 years later and finding ourselves only open to special needs. I would say that 90% of children coming in from International places and considered special needs...have something that is surgically correctable, or are merely a waiting child who is no longer a "baby". The fees for these children are also lower and they are the waiting little souls who need homes pronto. So for you and anyone else reading this thread...don't shut out the idea of special needs...or international adoption. Go into adoption with your eyes wide OPEN. My girls were all from Podanur India...in an "institution" setting...orphanage...received wonderful care and much TLC. They did NOT come with any type of bonding issues...They bonded easily because they had no reason NOT to trust adults. Now I am rambling...I hope I made sense. I would not feel wrong either to persue adoption when you can have your own child. God decides which child comes into your family. So you know it will be right what ever you decide...follow your heart. I wish you well...Karen in PA
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