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Adoption
Actually, the more I have thought about it, the more adopting and older child sounds like something we might pursue. If we did adopt an older child, it would be far in the future however, like 10 years down the road, at least the way I am thinking of it right now. I do not feel I have the energy to deal with the issues of raising an infant/toddler *and* dealing with a post-institutionalized older child at the same time.
Actually as much as I adore my baby, I am not really attached to the whole infancy thing like a lot of women are. I have always liked older children more - the only reason I felt more strongly about adopting an infant is because I worried about the issues involved with an older child, about them not being in synch with us, although the more I have learned about adoption it sounds like we would have some opportunities to find the right child for us.
Adopting an older child is not something I can decide about right now. Like I said, it's not something I feel I have the energy to do while I have a baby at the same time, so the choice to do so would largely depend on the kind of person my daughter turns out to be, because even though ultimately adoption is a decision that needs to be made by my husband and I, as she grows whe will become more and more an active part of the family 'team'. When I think of adopting an older child, I think of the child being adopted by our whole family, as opposed to a baby (whether biological or adopted), that grows into a family. If my daughter were the kind of child that would for example show intense resentment for a new child in the family, I question whether that would be fair to the adopted older child (whereas with a baby, by the time they were old enough to be aware of any resentment presumably the older sibling would have already adjusted).
Of course, I am sure there is some level of sibling rivalry or family dynamic adjustmen no matter what, but adopting an older child is something I imagine us doing when our daughter is older if she ends up being a compassionate people-person who is as enthusiastic about the prospect of adopting a sister or brother as we would be about adopting a son or daughter.
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