[Patty-cake]

It is better to get opinions before acting- I'm doing it backward.

My dd found me about 3 years ago we e-mailed for a few months before meeting f2f. Afterward she pulled back and contact is only ocasional pictures of her kids and thank-you notes when I send gifts.

From the beginning dd told me that a.mom had a problem with our reunion. I wanted to write to a.mom but dd told me that a.mom did not want contact. dd did however give me the okay to send a breif thank-you note for the lovely scrapbook that amom sent with dd when we met.

A wile back I decided to begin the process of reassembling my life as though I will never have relationship with dd. It has been almost three years. If things workout between dd and myself in future it will be a welcome blessing indeed but I must get back to the land of the living- where I am needed and loved.

There were some "loose ends" that I felt needed to be tied up as part of this letting go process. One of these was to write a.mom and tell her that I was glad to learn that the adoption agency had honored my request in choosing dd's family.(it was 1971 and I had no way of knowing,) I also told her that I thanked God for choosing her for mom because I know that she loves dd. I sent the letter in a Mother's Day Card. I wrote this because it was in my heart. I would have been devistated if dd had been mistreated. dd's a.mom is an older lady and even if dd and I get back together a.mom could be dead by then and it would be too late.

I waited nearly three years- sorry if dd got upset. I don't know if she did or if she even knows. The message was harmless and sincere. I did it for my own healing and also for a.mom who seems to need some healing also. What do you think?