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Some states are implementing laws regarding open adoption to prevent aparents from promising "the moon" and then refusing contact after the baby is placed with them. Your emotions are very understandable, in my opinion.
We've been asked to adopt a baby due this month and the birthmother is a young lady very close to us. Initially we refused. But, as time progressed and much prayer ensued, we've agreed.
The most challenging aspect for me personally is knowing the pain this precious young lady will walk through if she indeed places this child with us. We would be thrilled to parent this child should she go through with the placement but, at the same time, my heart is overwhelmed with the emotions that will confront her.
She will be getting intensive grief counseling. Do you have anything like that available to you?
Since your situation (and ours) is to be an open adoption, trust is the biggest factor to be maintained between all parties. I want the baby's birthmom to be completely honest with me. We've already walked through a very difficult contested adoption, but it helped me to understand the loss a birthfamily experiences. I'm no longer "threatened" by a birthfamily's involvement in our lives- in fact, I welcome it.
Regardless of the depths of love an adoptive family has for a child, there are certain "gaps" that ONLY a birthfamily can fill, questions to be answered. You are a very important link to this child's history.
My prayers are with you.
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