When we were trying to adopt the 2nd time, we were told about a possible little girl who was aa/cc. We called our parents. I knew my parents would be supportive, as I was raised in a transracial family (a mix of bio and adopted kids). What shocked us, and especially my dh, was his dad's response. His dad said, "I have never met a decent black person, but you do what you need to do and I won't stand in your way!"
Well, that did not turn out to be a match. However, my youngest son is aa/hispanic. At first, dh's dad didn't want anything to do with him and he kept telling people he couldn't believe he had a black grandchild. Well, ds is VERY outgoing and VERY friendly. He absolutely LOVES elderly people and is the ONLY grandchild who wasn't afraid of FIL at first. He just ran up to him and jumped in his lap. He won him over, and he loves and adores him. At first, it was rough. We do live 14 hours away, so we don't see them often. However, when he would come down he would bring presents for my oldest (who is hispanic) and not my youngest. I finally told him that since both boys are old enough to realize that now, he is no longer allowed to do that. I mean, if it's birthday, that's one thing, but just giving to one and not the other?
This last trip he even gave my youngest ds one of his precious nascar cars...one that technically isn't a toy, but he opened it and gave it to him!
So, it doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does.
I agree with Linny. If it comes down to having to choose, if you can't lose your Father, then you don't need to adopt transracially.
Maybe a heart to heart with your Dad would help?
You're in my prayers!