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You're not the first person to ask this type of question where family members might not welcome the action.
These are my only suggestions based on our own experiences. Two of my (adopted as infants, now grown) children are Asian. The last three are AA and still at home.
We felt before adopting, that whether family members accepted our babies or not, we were going to be 'our family'. If 'our family'--after adopting transracially---meant leaving any of those family members out of our lives, so be it.
Understand too, that once you adopt transracially, you are forever a 'non-caucasian' family. Your eyes may be opened to experiences and situations you'd never noticed before; people may stare; people will undoubtedly make assumptions about you before even knowing you (good and/or bad). These are all parts of what being a transracial family means.
If you aren't prepared to abandon any family or friends because of their racist attitudes, then I think you should seriously re-consider adopting in this way. You won't be the first couple to do this, and certainly not the last.
In the end, I believe your first priority in this matter must be to your child/ren. Any other family members beyond your dh and children are secondary. Your children will need your support and understanding to bring them up as best you can to be fine adults. You and your dh will have to serve as their fortress in times of distress.
If you aren't willing to throw aside any individuals who might be in the way of this, then re-consider and adopt children who might be a better match.
I don't mean to sound harsh here; but have seen this in other people who've gone through the same considerations. Good luck to you.....
Sincerely,
Linny
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