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I see nothing wrong with continuing your friendship with Shirley. She's an adult, and allowed to have whatever friends she chooses. Shirely obviously feels that your friendship is special enough, and she knows her son well enough to have weighed whatever risks. Don't take on someone elses problems, especially where there may not be any.
Twenty-four is young for a man. He's still trying to find out who he is. He may be discovering who he is outside his parents for the first time, adding another parent may be too much at this point.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I truly hope thinigs will work out for you!
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