[Isabo]

Originally Posted by Country.Tomboy

I went with my older daughter for her first ultrasound and my heart strings yearned for the baby. I go next week with my other daughter, and don't think it'll get easier. My husband was crushed with the news of their unplanned pregnancies, however he mentioned the other day he's not sure adoption is the answer. I'm 100% supportive of my girls and their decision and they have no idea of my or my husband's true feelings. Has anyone else ben here?

(((((Grandma)))))

Your daughters are expectant mothers and are not birthmothers. You are not a "BirthGrandma" yet. You are a Grandmother. I hope you get to retain that unrestricted title.

I relinquished my son almost 30 years ago. My Mother pushed adoption. My Father never even acknowledged my pregnancy. I found out 20 years after I lost my son that my Father did not want me my son relinquished for adoption. I WISH HE HAD TOLD ME. I was so ashamed, and I was pressured by my Mother and the Adoption Agency to relinquish. I had no idea that I had a supporter on my side. Adoption was the absolute WRONG choice for me and my son. He has been SO hurt by adoption and separation from me. It is not the miracle solution for every crisis pregnancy. Is it good in some situations? Yes. But it should be the last option, and should happen only if there is NO family support to raise the child. Here, you have two Grandparents who are wanting to keep the children in the family. So PLEASE speak up. Please do not make the mistake my Father did and stay silent. If you wait until after relinquishment, it will be too late. Your daughter(s) may still decide to relinquish, but they may also keep their children if they realize that they have your emotional support. I was trying to please my parents and "fix" my terrible sin (what a ridiculous and childish notion that was). I wish an adult had sat me down and told me what it would be like for me and my son to live a lifetime of loss. I wish they had told me that I was my son's mother, and that he needed ME, not someone else. I encourage you to speak your heart to your daughters. I hope you get to be a Grandma, not a "BirthGrandma"!!!

Good luck!