[valleysally]

Oh and something else, this is my child, he is a boy, I guess you'd have to say he's a young man now, but we are both artists, and as artists soon find out, we are often more sensitive than most people (OH I don't want to seem insulting to people who are not artists, but I have found over the years that it is true, at least for me and the other artists I have met. it seems to be part of the make-up of an artist, one of the things that drives us to BE artists is that sensitivity, along with the need to create) And I know that right now he is seeing a therapist to help him find his identity, and it's just killing me that I could help with that, I am part of that identity, and the reason I wanted to have an open adoption is that when things are out in the open, when all the truths are known and taken into the situation, it's better. It's better because you're basing who and what you are on the truth and reality, if you deny you're adopted, you are burying a vital truth, denying it doesn't make it not real! Healing can, in my opinion, only take place in the air of complete truth.

If you cheat at school, you might get good grades, but you don't know the material, and boy don't you hope your doctor didn't cheat! it's the reality of the material that is important, thusly when you deny your adoption and figure out who you are, I think that you may very well have some severe trouble down the line, cause you haven't found yourself truely, you have found what you want to find, not what is.

this is why I want to talk to Jason, I think he can put a more solid and true base for his life if he takes me into his account. Genes really do have an effect on your life, and I am the only one who can tell him about his maternal genes. I would love it if we could be friends, but this is more than wanting us to have a relationship; this is the time he is looking for himself and that's where I think it is important for him to know me, then his conclusions are taking all the factors of himself.

Does this make any sense to anyone else?? or am I completely of the mark here???? It is so nice to be able to talk to people who actually are involved in the same kind of situations that I am, I don't know anyone else to talk to. So I really do appreciate the input.