[lambeausam]

My youngest son (3yo)has three half-siblings - one in foster care in another state, one whose whereabouts are unknown and one who is presumed dead. The one in foster care is younger and we have had contact and visitation with that family. Reunification is not possible, but we are fulfilling the next best thing. The boys know each other and talk on the phone. My son knows that he has a big brother that lives with him and a little brother that doesn't. I have explained to him that in some families the children live with different parents and in some families everyone lives together. He understands this. Think about how many kids are living with only one parent as a result of divorce. As for the other two half-siblings, there is not a chance that he will ever meet them, so I will wait until he is a teen-ager to explain that part of the family.

My oldest son (7yo) does not have any biological siblings, but was so excited to meet his "other" little brother this fall. The little one's foster parents even view all three boys as brothers.

My suggestion - create a plan and stick with it. If other family members or friends are aware of your child's background, make sure they know what your plan is and agree to support it. Give them suggestions on how to address any questions that your child may ask when you are not present.