Dear Crystal,
You do not have to feel bad that you do not want a relationship to your birthmother. She gave up all ( ALL) rights to you. You now belong to your parents. Do not enable your birthmother's behavior. Do not accept the gifts etc. if they make you feel guilty. Also you can block her e-mail. This may seem harsh, but Crystal, this is just another form of abuse. A truly loving person does what is best for another, not for their own needs. The bible states that" What greater love has man than this: that he lay down his life for a friend!" There is always the hurt that when we try to find the missing pieces, we feel that we are then obligated to be in the"families" lives again. Not so. Please be who you are and do not let guilt nor manipulation lead you around your entire life. You have been through enough, start to live again!!!
Hope this helps some, please feel free to e-mail me
purple_grace_35@hotmail.com. I have been close to that same scenario, now I am 7 years behind it with my birthfather. Good luck.
Robin