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I say send them if you can trust the best friend not to share unless she is asked to. Be sure to tell her how very important it is that she respects the agreement you made with Connor's bmom. Connor's bmom may be embarrassed about some of the things that have happened in her life recently. She knows how much you care about her and that you are going to ask about her and connor's bsibs and she might just be embarrassed to tell you the truth about it. It may help her to see that she made a great decision in choosing you and your husband to parent, and she might just be more comfortable asking her best friend to see the proof of that.
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