[sweetnoodle]

My birthmother and I agree things would be a lot better in NC if we had confidential intermediaries as they do in other states. I think this is something to strongly consider. Even though we don't have confidential intermediaries in a legal sense in NC, you need to start looking for someone that you feel could do this for you and your bd. It would have made things a lot easier in my situation. I'm not saying it wasn't worth it or that both sides aren't happy and thankful; there are just so many emotions and issues to work through, and someone skilled in diplomacy, communication and well versed in adoption issues could really be an asset to both sides. I had 2 1/2 yrs. to prepare for reunion as I was searhing-- my birthmother didn't hav that advantage, and she was rather blindsided. Plus, like you said, you never know exactly what you will find. I am not sure if anyone at the CHS can legally do this. You'll have to find someone else.