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Honestly I understand your frustration. I personally (as a future foster "mother") do not believe in changing a child's BC. While I am not adopted I do have issues with my father (he is abusive) and am just getting to know his side of the family (similar to meeting Birth relatives I would assume). It is a scary and exciting process. Before meeting my extended family (my "father" isiolated us from his family and we had little/no contact with them through out our lives due to his abusive and manipulative actions) I had considered "adult adoption" as I wanted to rid myself of my association with him. I was seriousley considering having an uncle adopt me. It was more about my hurt over having a unloving father and the fantasy that if I just found someone to be my "father" that all my hurt would disapear. I was lying to myself.
I thought about it for quite a while....but then decided that I am who I am...and changing my name would change nothing. I decided to embrace my genetic history as just another part of who I am as a person....and I believe that is a right that EVERY person is entitled to. If an adult decided to change thier identity then I believe that they should be entitled to do so. As far as BC's go....I don't believe they should be altered....atleast with out serious thought, counseling, and valid reason.....as you can't change your genetic history. I do however understand WHY it would be done in some situations and I am no one to judge others who have made this choice for THEMSELVES.
As far as transgendered persons changing thier BC I can understand and support thier reasoning for doing so. Transgendered persons are born in the wrong body. They mentally and emotionally develope as thier "true" gender while it is only thier physical bodies that show otherwise. Obviousley we understand by now scientifically that there is a great deal more to gender identity then physical sex organs....in fact I would assume that they play a less signifigant role in gender association then the mental/emotional/social aspects of gender idenity. Gender norms are flexible....they vary in every culture and from individual to individual. Honestly I believe that if thier was a gender mistake that was corrected (via surgery, counseling, exc) then I don't have a problem with ammending a BC to reflect the true gender of a person. They were ALSO born with thier emotional gender not just thier physical one.
I believe identity is a personal belonging...and is not something any other person (besides ourselves) has any right to tamper with or change....we are who we are born...and changing a BC is taking something away from a child with out thier consent. This is how *I* feel and I am sure many people disagree with me. This is an issue I have thought out very much. While I want to be a foster mother and long term care giver....I have come to the conclusion that I can not with good concious change a child's BC which means that I ethically won't be adopting (unless and until there is so major adoption reform) any time soon. I would love to make children a part of my family via a perminant guardianship because thier are so many child in need of a stable place to call home....but I don't for a minute feel that it is my right as a person to take something so precious as a BC away from any child for the sake of a legal proceding/process (finalization) or for my own good.
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