[sak9645]

If you and your child's preschool disagree on your child's readiness for kindergarten, consider paying for an evaluation by an objective third party. That person, if properly trained in such evaluations, will look not only at cognitive development, but at emotional maturity, social behaviors, and so on and come up with a recommendation regarding your child's placement.

In general, however, girls do mature much more rapidly than boys. I started my daughter (adopted from China at 18.5 months of age) in full day kindergarten when she was only four, because she had an October birthday and the school allowed enrollment in kindergarten as long as the child turned five by 12/31. I'd heard opinions both ways regarding my daughter's readiness, but I felt that she could handle the demanding religious private school in which I placed her.

And my "Mom instinct" was right. It was perfect for my daughter. Instead of hanging out with the younger kids in preschool, and failing to grow intellectually, socially, and emotionally, she was challenged to live up to her full potential. And lo and behold, there WAS a totally appropriate kindergartener in her, just waiting to come out! All of a sudden, I began seeing so much more maturity!

Even though she was the second youngest child in the eight kindergartens that the school had, she fit in perfectly in all respects. She was actually a bit ahead of the game intellectually, and she had skills like ability to work independently, to participate in a group discussion, and to engage in typical "playground politics".

Despite its strong kindergarten screening program, where teachers even visited preschools and observed the children, as well as having individual and group interviews on campus, there WERE some children who did not do well in kindergarten, even when they were solidly five. Interestingly, they were almost always boys, and their issues were not generally intellectual. They usually had to do with emotional maturity, social skills, and so on.

The school actually had a special class called "T-1" (T for transition), for those kids who weren't ready to move to first grade after kindergarten. T-1 allowed the children to spend a little extra time working on their emotional, social, and intellectual development, and then to get phased into first grade at any point when they appeared to be ready, either during that year or the following year. T-1 was almost always an all-boy class.

By the way, whether or not you choose to put your son into kindergarten this year, let me make a pitch for full-day kindergarten instead of a half-day program. Kids who go full days seem to get SO much more out of their program -- not just in terms of intellectual achievements, but in terms of social and emotional skills. They tend to form closer friendships, to feel more comfortable at school, to be more independent, etc.

Whatever you choose to do, congratulations on having a son who is going to be at "big boy" school very soon.

Sharon