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I would agree with what someone else said, the grandmother's opinion may not be the parents. Heaven forbid anyone take all of my mils opinions and assume mine are the same on everything (I shudder at the thought, even though I love her very much, I don't agree with her on everything!)
The other thing to point out is that she is from a different generation. In her day, when people adopted it was kept secret, they thought back then, that is was best for the children to not know the truth and for everyone to pretend as much as possible that the child had been born to the family. I went to school with a child adopted from Vietnam and her grandmother liked to pretend she was not adopted. It was funny because her siblings were blond and blue eyed like her parents. Grandma loved her, but would make up things about why she looked different. The child was two when she was adopted and everyone else knew it and it was not a big deal, except to this one grandma. She would tell people that her daughter ate a lot of chinese food when she was pregnant. LOL, it bacame a family joke people making up reasons a woman would give birth to a two year old vietnamese child. My friend just thought it was funny. I asked her once if it ever hurt her feelings and she said no, her mom had explained to her that grandma just loved her so much she wished they shared blood, (grandma did make comments like "she gets her music talent from me") so she said that everytime she heard grandma say one of her little things, she said all she heard was "I love you". I thought that was such a great attitude. What could have torn a family apart, actually made them closer.
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