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I've encountered comments of this genre, the most upsetting coming from a member of our family. We recently had a conversation about possible names, and my husband and I said we were both leaning towards keeping whatever name he might have. This family member thought the notion was bizarre, and said "but it will be a Russian name!" to which I responded "well...he'll be Russian". She said "NO. He'll be AMERICAN". She is dead-set on complete assimilation, and has been resistant to any ideas of our not only accepting his heritage, but celebrating it.
I wonder if this is possibly a generational thing? I think the ideas surrounding adoption have changed so dramatically in the last few decades, as well as the social and political attitudes towards Russia in particular, that for some it's hard to let go of the ideas they grew up with. I've had grandparents, older friends, etc. ask me if we were going to tell our son he was adopted...I was somewhat astounded, as you can imagine, but I've had to step back and realize that the openness and honesty in adoption that we are accustomed to is a relatively new concept. Not to mention the remarks we've deflected about the fact that he's coming from Russia...that seems to be the sticking point with a generation who were taught that Russia was "the enemy". We're doing our best to teach old dogs new tricks!
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