[mom2GRLC]

If you want to adopt him then I'd say forget everyone else involved and go do it. Your obviously very commited to him.

I'd also write a detailed letter to the adoption worker about everything from start to finish....especially when it comes to the grandmother. Because once the grandmother hears that you are pushing foreward to try and adopt she will probably become angry with you and try to adopt him just out of spite(since she obviously doesn't want you to have him for whatever screwed up reasons she may have). They need to know that her home is currently unsuitable, that she doesn't care for him or want him and is only in it if he comes with a check.

Also, even through the foster parents don't want to adopt there will be many other wonderful couples just waiting to have a little child (like him) to make their dreams of having a family come true. So don't feel bad if you ultimately choose not to move foreward with adopting. Moving foreward with his adoption will not only affect the child, you and your other kids in the home. It will affect the whole dynamics of your family relationships.

My son was in fostercare for 2 years before he came available for adoption. All along the way his grandmother would visit him and while she loved him so much she knew that if she took him in he would not have the life she had hoped for him, because her daughter (his birthmom) would always be in and out of his/their life causing problems and she felt he deserved to live with a family who could cherish him and protect him from that kind of family dynamics.

So there is a lot to think about. It sucks when there are these huge issues between family members. Luckily you live far enough away though that you will probably be able to shield him from all of that.