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Stephanie,
I believe it is best for your first mom to tell the children her story from the beginning, the years in between, living without her daughter and then how building a new relatioinshiip has been with you has been. Children eventually learn the truth and usually know when something is hidden from them, trust can be broken if children are not told, it could cause them to withhold important situations from their mom, when they may need her advice the most.
I think a good talk to your mom about how you feel is the best way to start. Also you could share your life experience with your siblings as well. I think adoption seperation education to the younger ones will be of great importance.
Have you talked with your older siblings, have they feelings to share with you. I imagine that they must have lived their whole lives wondering about you as well, I imagine that they have suppressed feelings that might need letting out. As we all know, adoption involves all members, not just mother's and their placed child. Its good to hear that your relationships are strong ones. May I ask you, did you and your first mom, go through many pull backs. Are there things that you feel could have made your relationship closer, stronger in the first years of reunion. Are there things that you feel that your first mom did you cause a drift between you both. thanks in advance for any response to these questions.
Good luck
mm
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