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Hiya Stephanie,
This is a future concern for me, I'm glad you're bringing it up, it helps me to figure out how I'm going to handle this.
Bson is soon 22, and we've been in contact for a couple of months. My daughters are 2 and 4.
I've introduced the concept of Andy. That he's their brother and he lives in America. They don't really get it yet, but I want it to be normal for them.
I also feel that as they get older and start to understand a bit more, I will definately talk about the adoption and how he didn't grow up with me as his mamma.
I guess my biggest fear is that they'll be afraid that I'll relinquish them as well.
What I really want though, is that our whole situation feels normal to them! I wish it was something that could feel normal in general. But that's just me who's feeling frustrated that I don't know who and when I can talk about the whole thing with.
It's hard, I'm sure your firstmom doesn't mean things to be hard for you, it's probably just easier in some ways for her not to say anything.
I don't think you're being overly sensitive! It's hard because maybe in protecting herself and her feelings that she 'abandoned' you (or that her children might interpret it that way), it ends up laying that on you.
I do think that especially since you're 'back now' she needs to explain the adoption thing to the younger ones. Have you told her that you've been feeling the pressure that they feel you've abandoned them? Maybe she hasn't thought about that aspect.
Good luck!
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