[amyshaw]

I don't know if this will help or not, but here goes. Last summer, I thought I found my daughter (turned out to be a scam, but that's another LONG story). Anyway, this 21yo girl decided to come visit for a week or so. I sat my kids down and had a talk with them. There's 4 of them, ranging in age from 16 down to 12 (at the time). They already knew about my daughter (they grew up knowing there was another sibling out there somewhere) and I told them to treat her respectfully, but like a new class mate. They weren't expected to fall in love with her, they would not be allowed to treat her badly. They could come to their own conclusions about whether they'd be friends, siblings, or just acquaintances. Their choice, individually. My daughter treated her like the big sister immediately, the boys were indifferent. Now that there's no contact, so it doesn't affect their lives anymore.

My advice would be, take it slow. Get to know her. Maybe you could become friends, maybe not. Maybe you have things in common, but you might be total opposites. Just because you share genes, that does NOT mean you have to like her, and she doesn't have to like you. Think about all your friends that have siblings--do they ALL get along? Probably not.

Hopefully somebody here will come up with a web-site for you, but for now, take it a day at a time, and good luck!