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No apology needed. I probably didn't read your post clearly enough!
Your type of situation....having to release your baby w/o your full consent, is what gives adoption a bad reputation. I'm sorry that you were not properly considered before someone chose to make this 'more than important decision' for you.
I cannot answer why the adoptive parents are being the way they are; but I can 'guess'. Perhaps this son is being 'difficult' now. Perhaps the adoptive parents are going through that 'transition' where they are realizing he is 'growing to be his own'....and they are seeing that soon, he will not need their guidance as he has in his younger days! And, perhaps, as you say, maybe THEY are having the 'ownership' thing. It's our experience that far too many parents try to live, try to own their children. No one owns anyone. Birth nor adoption make no difference. A person is his own; yet, I think few parents believe this.
I honestly think you are doing what is best for everyone. Stay 'silently by', so to speak. When he is old enough to understand---whether they (adoptive parents) say so or not----he will decide to search or not. If he searches, I believe he will find a strong person indeed! One who kept his best interests at heart and knew when to approach when the 'time was right'.
I'm not trying to minimize this. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to think and wonder if you can be of some assistance to him 'now'. But.......in my opinion, your strength now, will shine through when he meets you. It's at that time 'he' will know you for the generous and giving person you seem to be through your post!
Linny
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