|
I have to agree with Lucyjoy. I'd also add that not only is this a horrible age to deal with (parents and the kids)......but certainly not one for making any kind of important decisions--i.e.-----making contact with a birthmother and forming a relationship.
Truly, I'm not trying to be cruel; though you love this boy; he 'is his own'....and must make the decision to contact you if and when he decides.
This decision cannot be made because you love him enough. It cannot be made because you chose to release him to a family. It must be made because 'he' feels 'he' wants this. No one knows.....especially him at this time..........just how much contact----or if he will want any contact in his later years.
Again, I'm not trying to be cruel. I do think though, that because of the media, people tend to think that ALL adoptees 'continually mourn' a birthparent. This simply is not true with everyone.
I do not believe adoptive parents should keep anything from their children; but I do not believe adoptive parents should feel they have to share their family with anyone. Again, this is 'his' decision alone....when he is old enough to make this decision.
In the meantime, like Lucy says, make a 'foundation' for him if he ever chooses to search. Register through your state's registry. Write letters and store them away for a possible day if he should ever want to meet and form a relationship. In this way, you can be doing all you can, without putting pressure on his life.
I hope you understand I mean no disrespect to you. I just believe that he 'owns himself' and will make the decision when he is an adult.
Linny
|