[evansmum]

My husband and I recently became foster parents. We've only had one weekend placement so far. We have a 3 y/o of our own to worry about as well.

We were offered a placement this morning (11 y/o boy), and we decided to turn it down. This child has a history of theft, violence, he's defiant, he HAS tried to injure other children, he has horrible temper tantrums (he's almost MY size), has a history of running away, possible undiagnosed ODD.

I feel horrible for turning the placement down, even after hearing all the history. The placement is a weekend relief, with the option of permanent "every other weekend" relief or a full-time placement.

Evan is three; he's very susceptible to the behaviour of other children right now. I am just not comfortable bringing B around Evan at this point. Evan is our child, and he HAS to be our first priority.

It still doesn't make me feel better, even if I justify it until I'm blue in the face. I still feel that we became foster parents, we knew that we'd get placements like this. I guess I just thought they'd let us "get our feet wet" before they threw something like this at us. It's not even in our age range either.

I guess I just need some reassurance that we did the right thing. Even though I KNOW in my head that we did, my heart still hurts for this child. Does it ever get easier when you have to turn down placements, or does it always hurt that you can't "save them all"???

Thanks if you actually read my rambling...... any advice from those who've been there?????

Meghan