Eating - Not Hoarding
Hello Everyone,
Looking for some help with a food problem. We have had a beautiful boy in our custody for two months, our plan is to adopt him in July. The issue is with food and it is really becoming difficult because he cries so much over it. Here is some history:
- born to a 15 year old mother with a 23 year old boyfriend: taken from home at 6 months old for neglect - went to day care dirty and with moldy bottles
- spent 3 months in pre-adoptive home until the father got sick and they gave him back to social services with the promise to get him back when the father was better
- spent 10 months with what appears to be a wonderful foster family, they have been fostering for 30 years, have 4 adoptive children in addition to 4 birth and 10 adoptive grandchildren in addition to 11 birth. Never saw Mom or Dad during this 10 months and did not see previous pre-adoptive parents. Although they did want him back after 9 months but DSS said no since they made no effort to see him.
- came to us at 19 months old. We have a 4 1/2 yead old birth child.
B cannot get enough food. If he sees us so much as take a vitamin he goes into a crying frenzy because he wants it. Dinner and snack times have become an incredible chore. He cries and cries when he sees us cooking because he wants the food now, we have tried keeping him out of the kitchen but he is just inconsolable. If he hears paper rustling he comes running and gets very upset if it is not food. When his meal is complete he throws a tantrum wanting more, even after he has eaten more than enough for a child his age. If you cut up his food, he screams and throws it at us and won't eat it. He won't share at all, we can't help him feed himself if more is falling on the floor than getting in his mouth and, he can have a plate full of food and see us with a saltine and scream his head off because he wants the saltine. I think you get the message.
He also tends to put so much food in his mouth that he chokes, if he can't finish what is on his plate, he chews it and spits it out, every single of piece of food that is left. When you give him food, he takes a bite out of every single piece on his plate before he will eat - marking his territory so to speak. Often, he will chew his food and leave it in his cheeks or pressed to the roof of his mouth and try to make an escape before we can see whether or not he has swallowed. I know this is a control issue but we really don't know how to handle this.
It has become so difficult because he cries so much because food is such an integral part of life. Our birth child thinks we are somehow abusing B. Can anyone offer any insight?
Thanks!
Karen
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