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I have to agree with Centraltx Dad, it should be what is best for the family. I don't think some parents should completely stress that EVERYONE who is going through a step-parent adoption tell their children NOW, at age 3 that can be a lot to understand, and confusing. A three year old doesn't really know what genetics means. Imho I don't see what is wrong with waiting until the child is 6 or 7 so he can understand and process what he is being told a little better. That is still a very young age.
Each adoption story is different. Some children are not told till they are teenagers and are fine, and never have any sort of fallout. Then some do. You can't say everyone should do it the same way, imho. My grandmother married my grandfather when her first son was two, he adopted him at age two and he was not told till his teens. He was fine and when his BF tried to contact him he told him he already had a father, and hung up on him. All different adoptions have different stories and different things that could happen. What is right for one family may not be right for another.
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