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I told my daughter when she was three. We call her biodad her "first daddy," or her "before daddy," or by his name. Simply put I noted that some of her characteristics were from her first dad, she and her step-siblings said "Elena has another dad?" and I said yes his name is....he lives in....and he was your dad when you were in my belly. Now he is still your dad, but you have a "now daddy" too, they both love you very much. When she asks questions I answer them, I never want her to feel like anything about her is a secret, including her paternity. When she told me she didnt love her "before dad" I said that it was fine bc she doenst know him, but he will always love her, and he knows about her "now daddy" and is glad that he loves her and that she loves him back. So our situations are somewhat different but I would just say: I am your mommy now and I will love you FOREVER, but you were in a different mommy's belly. She was your mommy before I knew you or daddy. Your first mommy didnt really know how to be a good mommy so she let your daddy find me for you and I am sooooo glad that happened, because you are sooo special and I love you soooo much. When he gets older he will want to know more and I am going to go against the crowd and say dont sit him down in an awkward uncomfortable way. Tell him when you are doing your normal stuff together and just let it be something that is okay to talk about whenever he wants to. Personally I think sitting a child down to talk makes the subject much more uncomfortable, especially if it is something you are going to want to be open about in the future. I'll bet that its 1000 times easier than you think. Good luck, but I dont think that youll need it.
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