Oh how I can relate to you. Our second daughter was placed and the bgrandma only went along with everything because she did not actually think birthmom would really place. Bd was in jail at the time and is a drug addict, according to her he is just wonderful and could have parented! She has shown up with family members to visits and has given out our address. She told us she could have stolen the baby from the hospital and no one would have noticed! We still tried to keep an open mind after that. After the holidays we are informing her that she may not directly contact us, not because of anything she has done but over saftey issues with the bd. Have you talked with your agency or counselor? Have you talked with her or wrote her a letter and told her how you are feeling? I think cutting her out totally is wrong until you give her a chance to prove herself. Good luck to you!