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Hi Rainmon. As a reunited adoptee also in a "good" reunion, I thought I'd offer my two cents...
My gut told me when I read your first post that she is pulling back because she is feeling rejected by 1) your husband asking her not to email him at work and 2) his lack of response to her "emotional" outpourings. I am guilty of similar things myself. When I am feeling "needy" and my bmom doesn't respond in the way that I need her to or think she should, I have been known to retreat (feeling unjustifiably rejected) and she is left puzzled. The same thing happens in reverse for us. Luckily in our relationship, we are open enough that we have been able to talk about these things and deal with them, and our silences have only lasted a few days.
As opposed to giving her space, I'd suggest coming at her head on. Perhaps a letter with some heartfelt emotion is exactly what she needs. Make sure she knows how important she is to you and your husband. I'm not saying that you or he did anything wrong...it's just real easy for things to be misinterpreted when emotions are running high and people are feeling vulnerable.
At this point, what have you got to lose?
Best of luck...hopefully this is just a bump in the road that will patch itself up sooner rather than later.
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