I am just starting to consider adoption and am feeling very pulled to Ethiopia, but feel the need to also consider how well children from Liberia would fit into our family. Especially since I've found a Liberian waiting child listing that I fell in love with, but I would expect and hope by the time we get to the point of having a referral the little girls will be spoken for.
I am wondering how the children adapt post adoption. I have found plenty accounts and feedback of Ethiopian adoptions that make it seem the children tend to adapt quite well (besides the expected grieving and adjustments). There seems to be little or no information of Ethiopian children having problems with previous abuse, RAD, FAS/FAE, or any of the other "scary" buzzwords, with the children from Ethiopia. Because of the amount of feedback I have found, I'm comfortable with older children from Ethiopia.
Is this generally the same with children from Liberia, or is it more of a concern because of the different conditions? I have found very few blogs/stories from Liberia in comparison. Also how reliable are the HIV tests on the children from Liberia, as much as I'd love to be open to an HIV+ child, or willing to take a risk, I couldn't ask that of my DH, he's completely not open to it and I don't think he would be able to handle it.
A large part of my concerns are that if/when we do adopt we want to be open to older children. As much as I would love another baby around the house, I feel pulled towards older sibling groups of 2. We would like to be open to all children up to the age of our oldest son (6). I'm not terribly worried about upsetting birth order, but do want to make sure I'm not endangering the children I already have. I looked into foster care long enough to find all the horror stories of taking children at or older then your own.
I guess I know no matter what there is always the possibility of issues with any child (our 6 yr old has some delays that made him a VERY difficult toddler/preschooler to raise), and I'm willing to take the risks needed, but I want to make an educated decision, and not just on the grounds of I feel pulled to Ethiopia, but I feel the need is greater in Liberia. Plus it might help in my fight of ideologies
Thanks for any imput
Beth