[Moongrl22]

Originally Posted by kindofblue

I am 29 years old, and was adopted as a newborn. I have a wonderful family.

Last week, I received an e-mail from my birth mother, saying she would like to have a conversation with me, but if I didn't want to, to delete the e-mail and she would not try to contact me again.

My parents were always open with me about the circumstances of my adoption. However, I have never been overly curious about my birth mother. Now I am quite curious.

I have e-mailed her a couple of times. She is clear she does not want me to consider her as family but it seems she wants to be friends or have some on-going correspondence. I have not talked to her on the phone yet, but have her number if I want to call her.

My parents were as shocked as I was. I called them immediately after receiving the e-mail. I do not quite know how they are feeling about all of this. I do know they are emotional, but all I've gotten out of them is "We will support whatever you decide to do."

I am not looking for another family, and do not need another person intimatley involved in my life, but at the same time, I would like to correspond with her occasionally.

I need advice.

1. If you are an adoptive parent....what are some of the thoughts and feelings my parents are likely to have right now? I need to know so that I can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

2. If you are a birth mother....what is she likely to be thinking and feeling. She has another family now, and obviously does not need me in her life.....however, I am very important to her and she wants some correspondence.

3. If there is anything or issues I am overlooking, please let me know.

My initial thoughts are some e-mail correspondence will be adequate. I'm not sure that I want to meet her, and if I do, I know that I don't want to consider her as family. I would consider her as an important, significant person in my life, but in no way family.

I just need some help. This is all new and quite overwhelming to me right now.

Thanks!

I'm a Bmother who has moved on with her life since giving her Bchild up through Open Adoption. I'm the mother of three children and happily married. I can only speak for myself. When I gave up my Bchild, my only wish was that she was blessed, happy and healthy. A bonus would be to have a relationship with her someday when she's an adult. I'm not trying to take over as her mom. She's got an amazing family and I never want that to change. I'm here for her and I never want her to think she wasn't wanted. Giving her up was the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Leaving the hospital without her in my arms took strength and courage. Going to sleep night after night, year after year wondering. waiting, missing her; praying to God she is happy/ Just moving on I had to find the strength inside myself. As some point you just leave it in God's hands and live life. It makes me sad that not all Adptions are happy endings and Not all Reunions are happy endings. Whatever is meant to happen, I leave it in God's hand. In my eyes, a miracle happened the day I gave birth to my Bchild. She changed my life for the better and I hope she can say ONE day I changed her life for the better.
I hope you find the answers you need and God bless you.