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It sounds to me that you and your wife are dealing with this in different ways. She is moving forward with her everyday activities, while you seem to be dealing with this more aggressively, venting A LOT, given many of the posts I've read from you. Maybe you can just agree to disagree with the unique manner in which each of you are dealing with this, so as not to add any more stress to an already stressful situation? Best of luck to you.
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