[sak9645]

Eve,

I adopted my daughter from Xiamen (Fujian province). She came home when she was 18.5 months old, and she is eleven years old now.

I live in the U.S., in a heavily Chinese community (Gaithersburg, Maryland) and one in which there are many children adopted from China, so I have an easy time exposing my daughter to Chinese culture.

I am also actively Jewish. My daughter went to a Conservative Jewish preschool and then was enrolled in a non-Orthodox Jewish day school, where she is currently in sixth grade.

Becca's school teaches Hebrew by immersion for 50% of the day. The General Studies curriculum is taught in English and follows the curriculum of the Montgomery County public schools, which are among the best in the country. The Judaic studies curriculum is taught in Hebrew by native speakers and, because the school attracts the children of Israeli diplomats, meets the requirements of the State of Israel.

Becca is an outstanding student in General Studies. In Judaic Studies, Becca can read and write both modern and Biblical Hebrew, and speaks Hebrew in class though not at home. She has an excellent Israeli accent in her Hebrew, because all of the Hebrew teachers are Israeli.

Becca learned to write Hebrew cursive letters before she learned to write cursive English letters. She mastered creating Excel graphs on the computer in Hebrew before she learned to do them in English. She uses Hebrew word processing software as well as Microsoft Word.

Becca is by no means fluent in Hebrew, though the goal of the school is to get children nearly fluent by the time of high school graduation. Right now, she is well above average for a sixth grader at the school who does not have a Hebrew speaking parent -- I can follow a prayerbook and took a year of college Hebrew a few years ago.

I do not find it the slightest bit unusual that Becca is Chinese and mastering Hebrew. In fact, there was another Chinese girl in her school a while back who had lived in Israel for most of her life, and she was fluent in Hebrew. And there are Black Jewish kids Becca knows from school who are from Ethiopia and Eritrea, who speak Amharic, Hebrew, and English fluently. There are White children who are fluent in other languages as well; she knows Jewish children from school who speak Farsi, Russian, and Spanish.

While Becca and I have talked extensively about her Chinese heritage, and she would definitely like to know more about her birth family, she also feels connected to my family. Becca's first name, Rebecca, honors her Romanian great-grandmother. Her English middle name honors her grandfather, who came from what is now Belarus, though it was Russia when he emigrated.

Becca has seen documents like her grandfather's naturalization certificate. She has read stories written by members of my family about various relatives -- for example, "The Yellow Petticoat", the story of how her great-grandmother met her great-grandfather, which one of Becca's great-aunts wrote before she died. Becca is close to some of our cousins, who tell stories about our ancestors.

But, of course, in most ways, Becca is a typical American girl. She reads voraciously and on an adult level. She rides horses. She loves the Internet. She watches Disney Channel and Animal Planet. She wants to look "cool". She is beginning to discover boys. She likes to listen to American rock music, as well as to Asian pop singers like BoA (Korean), Ayumi Hamasaki (Japanese), Namie Amuro (Japanese), and the Twelve Girls Band (Chinese).

So, in my opinion, I would strongly recommend teaching your child Polish as well as English, and passing on your love of your heritage. It would make sense to visit Poland with your child, if you have the money, when she is old enough to appreciate the culture. It would make sense to celebrate holidays, such as Christmas, in the Polish way. It would make sense to fill your home with Polish foods and artifacts and music.

But you really should try to incorporate some Chinese culture into your life as well. If you live in a community where there is a university, there are likely to be some Chinese students who might want to earn a little money through babysitting and/or teaching your child Chinese. If your community has a Chinese restaurant, get to know the owner and see if he/she can help you identify a Chinese teacher.

Ask your adoption agency about other community resources for Chinese adopted children. You may be surprised at what's out there. There may well be a chapter of Families with Children from China within driving distance. Adoption agencies in the area may well have culture classes and camps for Chinese kids. There may be a local Chinese church that sponsors events in which you can participate.

Also, use the Internet to identify cultural items that you can purchase -- Asian-featured dolls, Chinese kites, tapes of Chinese lullabies, Chinese language CDs, videos and DVDs like "Big Bird in China", moon cakes, door plaques showing an Asian ballet dancer or child on a horse, Asian-themed Christmas ornaments, etc. There are truly wonderful things available on line for families with Chinese children, these days.

And, of course, make sure that she is well integrated into Canadian society. After all, that will be the country where she will spend most of her time. Choose schools that are diverse, if at all possible, so that she sees how people of many kinds can all be Canadian. Take her to places rich in Canadian history, and help her to see those places as part of her tripartite heritage. Buy artwork that shows some of Canada's scenic beauty. Talk to her about why you chose to migrate from Poland to Canada. And, of course, enjoy the customs of your husband's family.

You will find that having a child with a dual heritage -- or even a triple heritage like my daughter has -- enriches your own life tremendously.

But don't expect your daughter to value all three parts equally, all of the time. There have been times in my daughter's life where she had little interest in anything Asian. There have been times in my daughter's life when she preferred her Hebrew subjects in school and talked of becoming a rabbi. There have been times in my daughter's life when she preferred Asian rock to Justin Timberlake or Jewish music -- and times when American popular music has been the order of the day. And so on.

Sharon