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1mommy23
I agree with Scarlet, re counsellor. Someone who understands but is not involved. I think you are his Godsend - correographing a delicate dance, allowing bmom to hope, and hubby time to work everything out.
From what you posted, I think he really wants to know his firstmother but is frightened for all his other family members. At this point of time, your husband's needs are paramount. He is the innocent here. If he needs to have contact with his firstmother, he can do it without involving your children or his family. Most reunions start off with both parties swapping letters and e-mails, progress up to phone calls and then, after a "getting to know you" period, a meeting.
AND.....The reunions that work well are also those that go slowly - real slow - like months instead of weeks. There's time for everyone to settle down and really think about how this news impacts on the families.
I feel for your husband. I feel for you, and for his birthmother and his Mom. Like Scarlet I think his Mom is one heck of a woman.
Ann
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Dont spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.
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