[momof4too]

I just re-read your post and realized that I may have missed something in my earlier reply: You said, "DSS is telling them they need to be foster/adopt parents first for children in this area- "

That rang a bell. Maybe your state's DSS program works like the one here: Our agency works in concert with the state agency to place waiting children in families. Therefore, our homestudy was done at no charge to us. (hooray) The flip side of that however, is that we don't get a copy of the homestudy (although we were allowed to read it before it was sent out) AND we were asked to wait a minimum of six months before looking for children outside our state. The deal is that a state get federal dollars when it places a child. If they cover the cost of our homestudy, but another state gets a child adopted, those dollars are "lost" (my term) to the adoptive parents' state, and they still don't have one of their children placed. (A wider view of adoption practice might say that children are children and money is money, and whenever a child is adopted by a qualified waiting family, that is a good thing, but alas, everyone is counting dollars.)

Hope this is helpful