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Hi Ferney,
It ws interesting reading your experiance with open adoption. The one thing that stood out for me was your age. You are 48 and I am 49, I was in a closed adoption.
all I can think of is the moral compass of the time. It was very rigid and it must have been VERY difficult manuevering your way around as a little one. I too, got comments from other children concerning real mother, why didn't she want you ect. But I truly feel that for the time that I was born and adopted, because of the moral rigidity of the times...a closed was better for me. Mybmom would have been and probaly was considered a "loose women" a horrible judgement for a women of thaose times. That judgement would have been projected on to me...no doubt in my mind. I was protected from that with the closed adoption. As an adult...you bet those records are mine and should be opend.
I have had a relarionship with my birthmom and she was a good women but at the time of my birth and childhood....she was not ready to parent me..even though I know without a doubt she loved me. The situation work out for the best...IMO.
With all that being said, I do understand your fustration...its the push/ pull of families that is so damaging to any child...you have a right to gripe. Addd that to the times and it must have been difficult.
There is NO COMPARING an open adoption of that time to one of today or even 20 years ago, your talking almost 50 years...it was another world and I really beleive ferney is NOT making assumptions about anything..realting her own experiance...
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