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It is reallly hard to be a friend to your children, they have friends. They need a parent to guide them and help them make decisions when they cant seem to make the right ones for themselves. Unfortunately your SD is on a really bad path to continue a familiar cycle within her family, I am sorry that your husband and the childs mother dont want better for their daughter than they had for themselves. How is your relationship with your SD? Does she just see you as the "bad guy"? Could you sit down and discuss with her the reasons that at this age it is inappropriate (ex. Bad reputation at such a young age, peer pressure to do things she may not want to do etc)?
Another thought, It is EXTREMELY important that you and DH are on the same page and if your not then it at least needs to be unknown to SD, I am an Ex-wife, my children have a step mom, I know how my kids try to play their dad and how their step mom at times feels like he gives into them when she thinks he shouldnt, the kids also know how to push those buttons. I continue to encourage him to not let the kids know if they , as a couple, dont agree on a particular parenting issue.
Good luck and feel free to PM me if I can help!!
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[/color][/b]Michelle
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"I have learned that people won't remember what you said to them, they won't remember what you did to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel"
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