[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I think I have fallen into a pit of imorality. I keep asking myself if I am being TOO strict, too harsh, or closed minded.

First of all, SD lives full time with her mother (the EX). The EX lost her own verginity at 12, but you would think she would want better for her daughter right? SD called around Thanksgiving (still 11 at the time) to tell her father than she had a boyfriend. OK, whatever, junior high, I remember. Holding hands, writing notes, breaking up between math and English, and making up between social studies and art.

BUT, after the call to us, she called my MIL. Oh, how excited MIL was for her, and SO encouraged the "relationship"...even going so far as to say "If you got married you would be..." Give me a break!

Now SD called DH (this is our weekend) to see if she could go to a movie with some friends. OK, 3, 4, 6 of you going, sure. What time? Where? With whom? What are you seeing? (Oh, yeah, all questions DH neglected to ask before his quick "ok") Now I find our that it will be her and her BF, and MAYBE another "couple", but if they can't come it will be just the 2 of them. WHAT?? I asked DH if he was still going to let her go on a "date". He asks me "why not? Should I have a problem with it?"

DH accuses me of "hating" the girls. He says I am criticizing his parenting and telling him he is a bad parent. He says there is nothing he can do because she lives with her mother. (remember, this is OUR weekend with the girls...I think that gives him plenty of ground to say no!)

I could use some advice. There is NO way I will let the boys "date" at 12 years old. I also have NO intention of raising a grandchild (or paying for an abortion...the EX had 3 before she was 16) any time soon! Am I off my rocker here? Am I being too hard? Am I trying desperately to hold onto an old fashioned moral standard that is completely outdated?