[Kerbchek]

I do pay for chores - The entire idea came over a year ago when I had E and a different short term foster kid who was 16. E used to help with things here and there and I'd just give him some cash from time to time when he'd ask. Then I had C for three months last year- who would sit on the sofa and ask me to get him a glass of milk out of the fridge while I was running around cleaning, dusting, vacuuming. He'd just pull off his socks and throw them on the floor in front of the sofa and would think he could just leave them there!!!!! Arg!!!! Then he'd ask for some cash and it didn't seem fair to him that I gave cash to E, but not him... so I set up the chore chart and nobody got a free hand-out cash for anything - it was all tied to how non-lazy you were.

This seemed to help E as well. He had (still kind of does) the idea that things happen to you - that you cannot control what you have or how your life goes. He wasn't raised by anybody who worked outside the house for a living (mother never had job, grandmother was retired - yes worked at one time, but E only saw her get a check in the mail - and the other foster home he was in had a stay-at-home foster parents). He sort of had this notion that money just came in the mail if you were lucky and if no money just came in the mail, you just didn't have money. I don't think he had a good idea of how working harder, meant having more money. All of a sudden, after I started this, E started doing more chores without being asked (he sure initialed the chore chart though). I didn't even realize how many chores I was just doing myself without thinking about it after E requested we add more chores to the chart (I was used to doing them myself as I had lived alone for so long). My life became easier as I was receiving more help. It really didn't cost me more money as I stopped purchasing pop, chips, candy, rented movies & games, toys, weird things from Hot Topic, and the list goes on...

I also have a list posted in the kitchen of what kind of things I'll buy and what they need to use chore money for. I'll put $60 for new shoes twice a year. If the shoes cost $75, then they need to contribute $15 from chore money. And I'll buy pop and chips for them if we're going on a car ride that is one hour or longer... there's others too. I also rent movies and games if I'm going out to eat with friends and am leaving them home alone...

We have a list of chores, the definition, and the $ amount for if they're done correctly down the left side. Across the top are the dates for the month. Then in the grid, you match the chore with that days date and intitial the box. After I've checked the chore, I highlight their initial and pay the kid. The highlighted initial means I've already paid them. The biggest drawback I've found was right after E's birthday and Christmas, he had recieved some cash as gifts, then his chores go out the window because he is not in need of any money... He still would do chores if asked, but he just doesn't do them as voluntarily.

As for J, he loves the system. It's similar to what he had at the RTC and he loves sticker charts and stuff... but I pay better for each chore than his RTC did...

Yes, I believe doing chores is just part of being a family... but growing up, I got paid for each chore I did. I was raised with a serious emphasis on work ethic. My dad is 67 and still goes to work every day... (that won't be me hopefully though...) I want to raise these boys with the idea that the harder you work, the better life you can have...