[sak9645]

As an old single Mom, I feel that singles, including single men, make perfectly fine parents. Yes, in the ideal world, a loving, two-parent family would be great. But the fact is that many two-parent families fall apart -- while some singles eventually marry and establish two-parent families, or simply throw all their efforts into being good parents. And there simply aren't enough two-parent families willing to adopt, to create loving, permanent homes for all the orphaned children in the world.

While the U.S. situation for single men isn't ideal, you should understand that there is greater acceptance of non-traditional families in this country than abroad, especially for children who are of school age. Unless you encounter a dinosaur of a caseworker, you should be able to adopt from the foster care system.

The problem is that most of the available school aged children in this country do not come directly from loving homes where parents have passed away. They may have been bounced around in the foster care system, from placement to placement, and may have attachment issues. They may also have various other physical, mental, or emotional special needs, ranging from fetal alcohol syndrome to post-traumatic stress disorder related to abuse. It takes a very special person to meet the needs of such children.

In terms of international adoption, Guatemala and Vietnam have, traditionally, been the most open on issues like age, marital status, etc., and adoption by single men may very well be possible. Currently, Vietnam still seems to be pretty liberal, and I think it is worth pursuing, especially since it has a lot of older children in need of homes. Guatemala is currently facing the possibility of a shutdown until Hague issues are resolved and, in general, has been less friendly to single men.

As to Kazakhstan, I don't see it as being all that single-friendly. Some single women have been approved, but on a case by case basis, and I don't see single men getting permission there.

While Ethiopia normally allows only married couples and single women, it is pretty liberal in granting exceptions, and some single men have adopted school aged children. Talk with the agencies accredited by Ethiopia; there are only a handful.

While some single men have adopted from Russia, and you should probably talk to some of the larger, most experienced accredited agencies, Russia may not be an ideal option at this time. The program also tends to change frequently, and must be viewed as a little risky.

It is highly unlikely that you will be able to adopt from any of the other countries of the former Soviet Union, or any other Eastern European countries.

While some foreign children come into care as older children, following the death of a loving parent, many have either been removed from an abusive or neglectful family, lived "on the street", or languished in an orphanage for a long time. You should do considerable research on older child adoption before committing to it, as it is not uncommon for older children to have significant emotional baggage. Unfortunately, some families who were not prepared for older child adoption have disrupted placements because of the difficulties they faced in parenting.

Sharon